There are always people looking for the fabled happily ever after. They can't wait to meet the love of their lives and get married and have adorable little babies, or whatever. But I don't know anyone that openly says "I don't really care who it's WITH, though" and that's what it seems like people who get engaged super early in their relationships are essentially saying. It takes a long time to actually get to know someone. Not who they portray themselves as to the public, to people they want to like them, not who they WISH they were, not even the person they're striving to become. Who they actually ARE. How they deal with tragedy, disappointment, conflict, how they celebrate, how they crush on people outside the relationship, what they deem acceptable to hide from you.Who they actually are. Not just what their superficial likes and dislikes are, what they're allergic to, and whether or not they get along with your mother. It's scientifically proven that you don't even know if you'll be long term sexually compatible with someone before the 8 month mark. I definitely don't want to marry someone after 6 months that I'm not going to want to fuck after a year.
I have nothing against marriage. I might get married some day. I don't know. I've never been with someone for much longer than a year, and it's always been a personal rule that I would never marry someone I'd dated less than two years, and lived with for less than one. In my several year-ish relationships, I've had more than one person tell me they wanted to marry me, and without my two year rule(and my common sense), I would probably be, at 23, a divorced or at least very unhappy mother (Just what I always dreamed of!). None of those guys were right for me. But six months in? I thought they were. Because I didn't really know them, and they didn't really know me. So I ask you, what is the fucking rush? If you've met this person and everything is so amazing that you want to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIVES TOGETHER, what is two years? I just don't understand. Unless you're going to die in a year, or you're doing it to scam the government or you're actually an alien and you need to prove that you've found love to your space overlords so they won't destroy Earth and they'll only take marriage as acceptable proof, What. Is. The. Rush? People say they want to "lock that shit down", which seems weird. Is that all marriage is? A passive OMGNEVERLEAVEME? Do they think they have to trap the person they're with? Trap them in a tiny golden circle? Like by slipping on this tiny cage, they can force the person to be exactly who they want them to be, a person they want to spend their rest of their lives with?
If someone's going to leave you because you won't commit yourself to marrying them within a year, bitches be crazy, and you don't want to be marrying crazy bitches anyway. There is a crazy huge divorce rate. In Canada, 4/10 marriages end in divorce(and according to Statistics Canada, that number would be larger if it weren't for all of the common law couples, because when they split it doesn't count as a divorce). Relationships end. All the damn time. People are constantly breaking up and divorcing. As an adult, if I meet someone new and they tell me their parents are still together, it is a shock. It's less of a shock when I meet someone in their thirties and they mention they're divorced, and they tell me that it was stupid to get married so young, to someone they didn't know that well.
So just, wait. If they're perfect for you, they'll still be perfect for you in two years. And if they're not, well, wouldn't you rather know that before you get married?
No comments:
Post a Comment