Unemployed In Vancouver (In This Economy? Are You Fucking Joking?)

I quit my job. I feel stupid. I feel awesome. I feel scared.
In this economy, living in one of the most expensive cities in the entire world, and I am 10 days from being unemployed.  I'm so freaked out right now. I'm just not one of those people that has, you know, savings. I have no debt and I've got good credit but I still live paycheck to paycheck. Which is a big problem when there's no paycheck.

But that job was bringing me down, man. Four and a half years of cutting up animals all day, wearing a uniform, having any aesthetic self expression weeded out with arbitrary dress code and "hygiene" rules, the joys of customer service in the food industry (Yes, I'm serving you, that does not make me your servant. You don't get to talk to me like that.). Having my personality traits cordoned off into what is workplace acceptable and what isn't? Bitch, please. You don't own me. As long as I'm friendly, helpful, and doing my job, why the fuck do you think you get to tell me how to live my life? Because you pay me? Nope. Fuck this. I'm done. All I want in life is autonomy and a damn nose ring. There were a lot of things keeping me there, though. I've worked with a lot of great people, it's so routine that it's easy, and the pay isn't awful. But I hated going to work.

So, I quit. I knew that if I didn't just go for it, if I waited until I found another job, I would chicken out, stop looking, stop trying. Continue settling for less. Because I can't just quit. What if I can't find anything? I can't go through that again. And why do I think I deserve better anyway? I'm not good at anything, I don't have anything to offer, I don't even have a high school diploma, and on and on with the self-debasing personal assessments. I see the same thing in relationships all the time. People staying with someone that overall makes them miserable because if they left, there's the potential that they'd be more miserable.  Fear of unknown misery makes it easy to trap yourself into being miserable, because at least you know what you're up against.

But no longer! I will find something better. I will find something that makes me happy. Something that serves me, too. No more of this one sided My Life For a Paycheck bullshit.