I actually dislike having to call myself a feminist because I am SUPER into gender equality, I hate that I have to specify between men and women and not just people. I don't like pronouns and gender normativity. Unfortunately, with this topic, that's unrealistic. When we stop living in a patriarchy, I'll stop calling myself a feminist.
I'm in a pretty rough place right now. All this misogyny, all this hatred and pain, this outspoken ignorance, it's tearing me up, and it's making me angry. Really fucking angry. For every great article I read about feminism, rape culture and furthering our society to a place that we can all live without fear of violence, there's a thousand assholes posting stuff like "You're just saying this because you gave a guy head and he didn't love you" and "Yeah, but if you just didn't wear skirts, you wouldn't get raped as often" and it's making me fucking sick. The Slutwalk Rally Facebook page is just crowded with awful, and the people that want respect and equality, we're told to just shrug it off, be the bigger person. On the fucking page that belongs to us, and our event. So I wrote this, even though it's more of the same thing that everyone has been posting, because I need to. Or I'm going to explode.
I was trying to discuss with my brother that misogyny is why I was in a horrible mood yesterday and my loving, caring, awesome brother says to me, with so much scorn and disdain in his voice"So are you like, a feminist now? You know that women abuse men, too. Not all men are like that." And I just stood up and walked out of the room so I could go and cry in the shower. This man that I've known my whole life, that I have helped teach to respect and love women, is giving me shit for being a feminist. He's a "Not All Men" man. Oh, how my heart did break. I know that it's not all men. It's just, not the point. Automatically going on the defensive is taking away from the issues. Saying that not all men rape doesn't change the fact that most women have been raped and that all women have suffered because of our bullshit patriarchal society. I love men. I love people. WHAT I DON'T LOVE IS VIOLENCE. I don't love that I have to be afraid to walk through the park by my house at night. I don't love that my first experiences with sex were me being abused and used, I hate that I thought that that is all I deserved. I hate the heartbreaking #YesAllWomen posts that have been crowding my news feed, not because I don't want to see them, but because every single woman has experienced this bullshit, and no, it hasn't been at the hands of every single man we've met in our lives, but that ISN'T THE FUCKING POINT. The point is that we're scared and we don't want to have to be scared anymore.
Anti-Feminists like to post stuff about how women rape men, too. Do you know why women rape men now, too? Because we're all growing up in this same bullshit rape culture, we're taught that we can take what we want from others without their consent, through coercion or if they're vulnerable or not following "the rules". And that is what is NOT okay. Do you imagine that female rapists identify as feminists? That they're into gender equality and consent? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. Every group has crazy extremists, obviously, but for the most part, all of the feminists I know are just into safety, consent, respect and equality.
I don't want to overthrow the patriarchy to replace it with a matriarchy, I just don't want a gender-based hierarchy at all.
