We are in the middle of a pandemic. There is a virus that we have no vaccine and no cure for, with an estimated mortality rate somewhere between 2-15%, depending on age and comorbidities. It is worldwide, and it isn't like "Contagion", where anyone that contracts the virus quickly shows dramatic symptoms and then dies, making it easy to trace. We can easily be carriers. It can feel no different than a cold, or we can show no symptoms at all, and still infect others. In some countries people are being forced to stay home, while in others, the government is strongly recommending it, but we are not actively locked down. Every day, you wake up, terrified to look at the news(but looking anyway), you're worried about the safety of your loved ones. Financial insecurity, housing insecurity, only leaving the house for essentials, trying to put as much physical distance between you and other humans as possible, but still trying to stay connected, trying to stay sane.
I feel fine. First off, I am in a privileged situation. I live in Canada, where the government is giving you $2000/month if you worked, basically at all, last year. I live with two people who did not lose their jobs, and are working from home, and are shouldering more than their share of the financials. I have a house where everyone has their own space. There are no children to take care of. There is a large yard in which to be outside, space to set up a vegetable garden. We can settle in for the long haul here. But also, I've lived this way for years. Outside has always been terrifying, every person within 6 ft of me has always been potentially dangerous. The people I love might die suddenly(they could be dead right now, omg I better check!). Folks all over the world are dying in horrific, preventable ways and there's nothing I can do about it. Live off $2000/month? I was on Income Assistance last year. I got $430/month. The crippling anxiety about whether or not every single action I take is the right one is gone. I know what the right thing to do is, and it is to stay home, wash your hands, and do your best to get through today. It's freeing, for me. As much as it pains me to see so many people having a terrible time, buried in grief and doubt, it is also helping me have more compassion for myself. It's showing me that it's normal to feel absolutely awful when things are bad. You can have days of productivity, and days where all you do is curl up on the couch and watch Netflix for 18 hours, both are fine.
So, from someone who has been living in their own personal apocalypse for years, check up on your homies, remember to eat, and do what you gotta do to get through.
